But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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