Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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