is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
It's blow job season.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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