the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Randomize
