Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
