Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
