Midget sex pt 2 tonight
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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