EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
