I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
