My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
