I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
you win again, gameday.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
