am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
