im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
