We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
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