I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
