We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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