Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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