yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You were trust falling into bushes
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
