Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.