I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
