I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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