Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
