For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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