Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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