never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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