it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
