Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize