sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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