PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
