You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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