David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
