Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
she smelled like a LAN party
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
