why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
