Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
