well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just forgot I was standing up.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
