i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
