Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
