You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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