good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
