I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize