she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
