After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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