I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
