Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize