Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
