I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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