The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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