I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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