Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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