We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
