do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
