sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
