im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
