i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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