worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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