Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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