You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
50% drunk capacity currently
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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