she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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