we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
