Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
