I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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