We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
