Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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